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		<title><![CDATA[New Forums Machine]]></title>
		<link>http://nfm.disorganisedcrime.com/index.php</link>
		<description><![CDATA[The most recent topics at New Forums Machine.]]></description>
		<lastBuildDate>Sat, 28 Apr 2012 01:44:37 +0000</lastBuildDate>
		<generator>PunBB</generator>
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			<title><![CDATA[ITT we post random questions, thoughts and statements.]]></title>
			<link>http://nfm.disorganisedcrime.com/viewtopic.php?id=54&amp;action=new</link>
			<description><![CDATA[<p>Why should I have to pay a waiter extra for doing his goddamn job? </p><p>WoW is a tax on the stupid. </p><p>If women want equality, they should try being equal. Put on some muscle, learn spatial reasoning, and try using logic once in a while. </p><p>Back to the Future was rubbish. </p><p>If you&#039;re going to kill an animal to eat it, what&#039;s wrong with enjoying yourself while you do it? </p><p>Swastikas shouldn&#039;t be offensive. After all, they were just co-opted from other cultures where it&#039;s a symbol of good luck. </p><p>I find Suicide Girls incredibly attractive. </p><p>Grunge was never good.</p><p>Riding a motorcycle is just a shortcut to organ donation </p><p>For all intensive purposes I could care less </p><p>If you trick a girl into having sex with you under the pretense that you&#039;re a supernatural being, it&#039;s not really rape.</p>]]></description>
			<author><![CDATA[dummy@example.com (and_uh)]]></author>
			<pubDate>Sat, 28 Apr 2012 01:44:37 +0000</pubDate>
			<guid>http://nfm.disorganisedcrime.com/viewtopic.php?id=54&amp;action=new</guid>
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			<title><![CDATA[heh]]></title>
			<link>http://nfm.disorganisedcrime.com/viewtopic.php?id=52&amp;action=new</link>
			<description><![CDATA[<p><span class="postimg"><img src="http://img607.imageshack.us/img607/7093/truev.jpg" alt="http://img607.imageshack.us/img607/7093/truev.jpg" /></span></p>]]></description>
			<author><![CDATA[dummy@example.com (robbie)]]></author>
			<pubDate>Wed, 01 Feb 2012 20:26:08 +0000</pubDate>
			<guid>http://nfm.disorganisedcrime.com/viewtopic.php?id=52&amp;action=new</guid>
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			<title><![CDATA[coloring books]]></title>
			<link>http://nfm.disorganisedcrime.com/viewtopic.php?id=53&amp;action=new</link>
			<description><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://tinyurl.com/89ny2zb">http://tinyurl.com/89ny2zb</a></p>]]></description>
			<author><![CDATA[dummy@example.com (and_uh)]]></author>
			<pubDate>Tue, 20 Dec 2011 18:35:01 +0000</pubDate>
			<guid>http://nfm.disorganisedcrime.com/viewtopic.php?id=53&amp;action=new</guid>
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			<title><![CDATA[Whut?]]></title>
			<link>http://nfm.disorganisedcrime.com/viewtopic.php?id=51&amp;action=new</link>
			<description><![CDATA[<p>Hai.</p><p><span class="postimg"><img src="http://wage-slave.net/xray.jpg" alt="http://wage-slave.net/xray.jpg" /></span></p>]]></description>
			<author><![CDATA[dummy@example.com (jiriki)]]></author>
			<pubDate>Tue, 22 Nov 2011 16:13:18 +0000</pubDate>
			<guid>http://nfm.disorganisedcrime.com/viewtopic.php?id=51&amp;action=new</guid>
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			<title><![CDATA[ITT we post stories about defecating.]]></title>
			<link>http://nfm.disorganisedcrime.com/viewtopic.php?id=50&amp;action=new</link>
			<description><![CDATA[<p>I had visited my friend who lived in Ohio. They had moved to Ohio from Alabama in the south, so all they eat is <br />fried foods with potatos or beans. I had a shy colon at the time and couldn&#039;t shit for THREE DAYS! On the morning of<br />the fourth day, I knew something bad was going to happen. We had grits and bacon for breakfast and I thought I was<br />going to die from stomach pains. We left around 10am, around 11:30 we were just outside Indianapolis when I realized I<br />COULDNT WAIT! I told my dad he needed to find a place to pull over. He pulled over and into the parking lot of a Waffle <br />House.</p><p>&nbsp; &nbsp; If you&#039;ve never been inside a Waffle House, they are as close to hell as you are likely to find. They smell like <br />stale cigarettes and desperation. If woman aborted children in the booths the place couldn&#039;t be more depressing. They<br />are filthy hives of disease. In fact, every time a biological outbreak occurs near a Waffle House, the CDC raze the <br />building just to be sure.</p><p>&nbsp; &nbsp; I stumbled through the entrance doors and tried to find the bathrooms. I make it to the Mens room and burst in.<br />Unfortunately, there is a fat redneck in the ONE stall in the entire Mens room. Apparently Waffle House will serve you <br />burned coffee by the gallon, pounds of greasy bacon, and plates FILLED with pancakes, but not give you 2 places to shit <br />in one building.</p><p>&nbsp; &nbsp; Nothing was stopping this shit however. I pulled down my pants and went to the urinal. There I was with my ass <br />pointed at a urinal, both my hands pressed up against the thin, steel privacy walls. The beginning was disgusting. One <br />long, high fart followed by the pressure of a crushed garden hose far past it&#039;s pressure rating. Shit literally </p><p>EXPLODED out of me, striking not just the standing porcelain of the urinal, but the wall behind it as well AND both of <br />the privacy walls. I must have had an arc of shit of about 115 degrees from my anus. The smell was proof of their not <br />being a god, for surely no just creator would inflict such an odor without provocation. It smelled of sulfur and hate, <br />and possibly the unique bouquet that only rotting, overly ripe, overly sweet fruits can produce. After about 20 seconds <br />of this hell on earth, there was complete silence.</p><p>&nbsp; &nbsp; Suddenly, the hillbilly in the stall started coughing, then gagging. The sound of his metal belt buckle clattering <br />against the floor as he desperately pulls up his pants and the sounds of a hurried flush are heard before he rockets <br />out of the stall. He has his hand against the left side of his face, whether to avoid making eye contact or to somehow <br />screen out the horrors of my miasma of shit, I still have no idea.</p><p>&nbsp; &nbsp; I couldn&#039;t really be bothered with a more thorough investigation of his actions, however, because as soon as he <br />opened the stall door, large, golf ball sized demons erupted from my anus. Truly, the second level of Hell was trying <br />to force its way to Earth from my colon. Pain like I had never experienced before tore my breath away as a dozen <br />shitballs pinged off the urinal and onto the floor, to roll around and form a minefield for my trapped bathroom <br />companion. I was sobbing as he reached the door and tried desperately to push it open. His frantic attempts to escape <br />culminated when he tried to LITERALLY kick the door open. When he reared back and lifted his leg, he slipped on the <br />liquid filth that infests all Waffle House bathrooms; a mix of week old piss, sweat, grease, and wasted ejaculate. The <br />sudden jolt mixed with landing hard onto a few shitballs broke his will, and he started vomiting and crying.</p><p>&nbsp; &nbsp; Finally my shit was nearing its end, as a long pillar of shit that hung from my ass to just below my knee broke off <br />and hit the floor with a thud. The Waffle House manager chose this time to appear, no longer able to ignore the cries <br />of what the patrons assumed to be a rape/murder/suicide. I hobbled to the towel dispenser and cleaned off as best I <br />could with my legs shaking like a new born fawn.</p><p>&nbsp; &nbsp; I took off my pants and underwear, which were ruined, and left the Waffle House with my head held low as the smell <br />of shit had cut through even the most vile smells a Waffle House could produce, and left nearly all the customers in a <br />gagging, seizing fit as they rushed for the door.</p>]]></description>
			<author><![CDATA[dummy@example.com (robbie)]]></author>
			<pubDate>Tue, 07 Jun 2011 01:57:08 +0000</pubDate>
			<guid>http://nfm.disorganisedcrime.com/viewtopic.php?id=50&amp;action=new</guid>
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			<title><![CDATA[Royal Wedding]]></title>
			<link>http://nfm.disorganisedcrime.com/viewtopic.php?id=49&amp;action=new</link>
			<description><![CDATA[<p>Who else thinks it&#039;s wonderful that there is a royal wedding happening again? this will make things in the world so much better!</p>]]></description>
			<author><![CDATA[dummy@example.com (plk)]]></author>
			<pubDate>Thu, 28 Apr 2011 05:20:42 +0000</pubDate>
			<guid>http://nfm.disorganisedcrime.com/viewtopic.php?id=49&amp;action=new</guid>
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			<title><![CDATA[What do you know]]></title>
			<link>http://nfm.disorganisedcrime.com/viewtopic.php?id=48&amp;action=new</link>
			<description><![CDATA[<p>This forum is still here.</p><p>December 30th 2010, 3:08 pm American Eastern Standard Time.</p><br /><br /><p>Fags.</p>]]></description>
			<author><![CDATA[dummy@example.com (robbie)]]></author>
			<pubDate>Fri, 04 Feb 2011 21:16:01 +0000</pubDate>
			<guid>http://nfm.disorganisedcrime.com/viewtopic.php?id=48&amp;action=new</guid>
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			<title><![CDATA[plk]]></title>
			<link>http://nfm.disorganisedcrime.com/viewtopic.php?id=43&amp;action=new</link>
			<description><![CDATA[<p>i need to talk to you</p>]]></description>
			<author><![CDATA[dummy@example.com (evilyak)]]></author>
			<pubDate>Tue, 28 Sep 2010 02:53:07 +0000</pubDate>
			<guid>http://nfm.disorganisedcrime.com/viewtopic.php?id=43&amp;action=new</guid>
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			<title><![CDATA[Here are some new forums.]]></title>
			<link>http://nfm.disorganisedcrime.com/viewtopic.php?id=2&amp;action=new</link>
			<description><![CDATA[<p>So, in the course of shoring up the server, our good friend jiriki did some linux magic that had the side-effect of rendering the old hacked-to-pieces vBulletin forums we were running basically unusable. </p><p>Rather than have him roll back the changes, which are keeping hoardes of nasty chinks at bay even as we speak, I have decided to start afresh and migrate over to PunBB, which is a lot more reliable and was coded by people who aren&#039;t dumb and which isn&#039;t illegally obtained like the old forums were.</p><p>Migrating all of the old data over from vBulletin is basically impossible so I&#039;m not going to bother trying, so that means you&#039;ll have to re-register your usernames and post all of your dumb shit again.</p><p>For now there won&#039;t be any category-specific forums, just post whatever you like wherever you like, and we&#039;ll see how long it takes for you all to make a mess of things.</p><p>Don&#039;t take this opportunity (LOOKING AT YOU NOW ROBBIE) to register someone else&#039;s user name and start shit-posting, because it will just irritate me.</p>]]></description>
			<author><![CDATA[dummy@example.com (and_uh)]]></author>
			<pubDate>Mon, 13 Sep 2010 21:18:17 +0000</pubDate>
			<guid>http://nfm.disorganisedcrime.com/viewtopic.php?id=2&amp;action=new</guid>
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			<title><![CDATA[Logging in]]></title>
			<link>http://nfm.disorganisedcrime.com/viewtopic.php?id=40&amp;action=new</link>
			<description><![CDATA[<p>if you are having trouble logging in and are getting some kind of catpcha verifications screen, post to this thread</p>]]></description>
			<author><![CDATA[dummy@example.com (and_uh)]]></author>
			<pubDate>Mon, 13 Sep 2010 21:15:59 +0000</pubDate>
			<guid>http://nfm.disorganisedcrime.com/viewtopic.php?id=40&amp;action=new</guid>
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			<title><![CDATA[IPad]]></title>
			<link>http://nfm.disorganisedcrime.com/viewtopic.php?id=45&amp;action=new</link>
			<description><![CDATA[<p>I would totally buy an IPad if it came with a light saber!</p>]]></description>
			<author><![CDATA[dummy@example.com (and_uh)]]></author>
			<pubDate>Sun, 12 Sep 2010 04:47:18 +0000</pubDate>
			<guid>http://nfm.disorganisedcrime.com/viewtopic.php?id=45&amp;action=new</guid>
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			<title><![CDATA[i like it a lot]]></title>
			<link>http://nfm.disorganisedcrime.com/viewtopic.php?id=47&amp;action=new</link>
			<description><![CDATA[<p>this is way better than highway hyundai</p><p><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qY2MOe8j2M">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qY2MOe8j2M</a></p>]]></description>
			<author><![CDATA[dummy@example.com (ghettowarrior)]]></author>
			<pubDate>Tue, 27 Jul 2010 05:18:56 +0000</pubDate>
			<guid>http://nfm.disorganisedcrime.com/viewtopic.php?id=47&amp;action=new</guid>
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			<title><![CDATA[Rid the world of Sheriff Arpaio]]></title>
			<link>http://nfm.disorganisedcrime.com/viewtopic.php?id=46&amp;action=new</link>
			<description><![CDATA[<p>Well, that says it all.</p>]]></description>
			<author><![CDATA[dummy@example.com (ghettowarrior)]]></author>
			<pubDate>Tue, 29 Jun 2010 06:23:51 +0000</pubDate>
			<guid>http://nfm.disorganisedcrime.com/viewtopic.php?id=46&amp;action=new</guid>
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			<title><![CDATA[Hello, Peter. What's happening?]]></title>
			<link>http://nfm.disorganisedcrime.com/viewtopic.php?id=44&amp;action=new</link>
			<description><![CDATA[<p><span class="postimg"><img src="http://img59.imageshack.us/img59/1069/928e8e8a6b758f8fff43bbf.jpg" alt="http://img59.imageshack.us/img59/1069/928e8e8a6b758f8fff43bbf.jpg" /></span></p>]]></description>
			<author><![CDATA[dummy@example.com (robbie)]]></author>
			<pubDate>Thu, 11 Mar 2010 18:16:40 +0000</pubDate>
			<guid>http://nfm.disorganisedcrime.com/viewtopic.php?id=44&amp;action=new</guid>
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			<title><![CDATA[Robots... DOING THE ROBOT]]></title>
			<link>http://nfm.disorganisedcrime.com/viewtopic.php?id=42&amp;action=new</link>
			<description><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.metacafe.com/watch/3679603/robot_dancing_nobody/">http://www.metacafe.com/watch/3679603/r &#133; ng_nobody/</a></p><p>They&#039;re so cute!</p>]]></description>
			<author><![CDATA[dummy@example.com (robbie)]]></author>
			<pubDate>Fri, 26 Feb 2010 17:01:32 +0000</pubDate>
			<guid>http://nfm.disorganisedcrime.com/viewtopic.php?id=42&amp;action=new</guid>
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